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Official Communication from the Office of the
Supreme Commander



For Immediate Dissemination - October 31, 1994


Are you pissed off about the recently passed Crime Bill? Do you feel like a dam of frustration about to burst every time you think about what Congress has done to you? Does the mere thought of Clinton Republicans give you a burning sensation? Well, help is on the way.

Here is just the thing to get your juices flowing again. Just what you need to help relieve the pressure building up inside of you. It's your gift from the Whiz Kids at the Gun Owners Liberation Front. It's yours and it's free - because we aim to please.

Attached is your very own, copier-ready artwork for the new, splash-hit Jon Kyl urinal target. Simply run off as many copies as you like for yourself and all your similarly frustrated friends.

Once you have made as many copies as you think you'll need, it's a good idea to laminate them. That way they'll be plastic-coated just like the original. To do this, all you need is a spray can of clear urethane (available for about $3 from Ace Hardware). Simply coat both sides real well, wait for them to dry, and then cut out the individual targets from the sheets. Now you're ready to put Jon in his place (Why do you think they named it after him?) and finally get the relief you so sorely need

Be sure and put targets in every urinal you might conceivably use. This will ensure that you, and everyone around you, will be able to enjoy them and the relief they provide. Heck, we at GOLF believe that every Jon should be a Kyl Jon. We hope you do too.

Miguel Cartero

Supreme Commander
Gun Owners Liberation Front

P.S. We'd like to track how many targets are out there. Please help us out by mailing one of your targets back to us telling us how many you've made. It will only require a 19 cent* postcard stamp to mail one back.

* Note: This rate went up to 20 cents on January 1, 1995.
This is the (in)Famous Jon Kyl Urinal Target
This graphic formats nicely, six-up, in landscape mode on your favorite Desktop Publishing application. It can then be printed out, laminated, and cut up into six handy urinal targets. Capture the picture (or choose the link above) to download it to your computer so you, too, can experience the relief it provides.
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